My Best Guarded Secret
by Amanda SaturnVenus
Summary: Ginny writes a letter to Harry on the day he finishes at Hogwarts.


**_Disclaimer:_**_ All the names and places mentioned in this fic belongs to JK Rowling, and I don__´__t have permission to use them.****_

**My Best Guarded Secret**

Harry, 

It's finally over, isn't it? Only now I realized that you're leaving: I guess after so many (important) years with you as a constant in my life, I thought it would be forever… but it isn't.

Well, you made it, huh? Returned to Hogwarts, healed your wounds and all in time for you to finish at Hogwarts. That's the great Harry Potter for everybody! For me… for me, you've always been just Harry. My brother's best friend.

After so many years of watching you from afar; listening to various conversations, but never taking part on any of them; growing up with you, but never out of you… Well, after hearing so much advice to just forget and move on, but I'll never be capable of letting go, I've just now realized!

Where did all those years go? Because I had so much time to talk to you, but I waited, and waited for the perfect time that never came. And today… today you finish school, and there will be a huge party to celebrate mainly you, and your great doings…

Today is probably the last day that I have to just look at you; but I've decided instead not to go. I've decided to finally be honest with you and with myself.

Yeah, I decided not to attend it, even though I know my family and some friends aren't going to be very pleased with my decision. Eventually, they'll get over it. 

I'm not writing to you to say that I only wished you saw me for who I really was, because I know you did. I also know that I've caught your attention more than once. We always know when someone is watching us and liking what he is seeing. I also won't waste your time with false modesty - the point of this letter IS being honest after all…

So I've heard from many people that I could probably have dated more than I did, and have others falling in love with me. But the reality is that whenever I was on the receiving end of whoever's crush, it was always you that my heart kept longing for, and my brain fooling me with wishful thoughts and fairy-tale dreams.

Now your life finally got off hold. The ghosts that haunted you – mainly the "Ghost-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named" – were finally vanquished, and now you have a whole life to think about. By this point, this letter is probably sounding bitter, but PLEASE, don't think that's my intention. If anything, what I'm feeling right now is a great sense of relief…

I don't have the best memories of writing to someone about my feelings, but I thought withyou, I'd be safe. And that's why I dared. Also, I am in your debt: you saved my life. And for that, I'll be forever linked to you somehow, and I decided to start by being honest.

I know, for me, love has always been an intransitive verb. I loved you because I did, and getting love back from you was never a condition to it. My love is, and always will be infinite while it lasts. 

When I woke up today, I asked myself why did you, along with everybody else, never acknowledge my love. Why was I the Weasley with the silly crush on the famous Harry Potter? And that's when I realized. Everybody thought I grew out of my crush, when in reality, I went deeper into it. Even though my crush was no secret to anybody, my love was probably my best-guarded secret. 

I'm not asking anything from you, actually, I'm doing this for myself. This letter WILL get to you – it will not be thrown out like so many others. And after six years, I'll finally understand where my Gryffindor courage is.

I'm smiling right now, and feeling much better than I have for a long time. I'm not expecting an answer, and unless you WANT to give one, don't bother. After all, this is the reason I'm not going to this party; you don't deserve awkward moments on a day as special as this is. I don't have any regrets in loving you as much as I do, and I don't think I ever will. I hope today turns out to be one of your favorite memories, and that this day (your day) goes as well as expected, or better. You deserve it. Good luck!

                                 Love, always,

          Ginny


End file.
